Guest Post from Doug Ten Rose
Day Two of the Book Blogger Fair Features a Guest Post by Doug "Ten" Rose
Defeating
the Bait-and-Switch
You
may be asking, “What is the old psychological bait-and-switch
move?” I’ll tell you. It’s the oldest trick in the book. It is
often done without the awareness of the perpetrator. More often than
not the perps aren’t even in touch with themselves enough to
realize they’re doing it. (Occasionally, it is a more malicious and
intentional form of manipulation.)
Let’s
say that you are Party B. A fellow staff member—or even your boss,
or a co-worker who wants to climb the ladder of success over your
dead body, your mother, teenage son, or whoever—is Party A. (If you
are already saying, “Hey I’m the A. Let that other
pain-in-the-butt be Party B,” then your chances of avoiding the
pitfalls of the psychological bait-and-switch are very good!)
You
are a nice, friendly, kind, and cooperative person. Party A is a
nasty, sarcastic, wired-up type who loves to screw and manipulate
people. Party A people are warped, frustrated, and believe that since
they have no happiness or sense of self-worth, neither should anyone
else. They love to pull your chain, wouldn’t climb off your back if
you bought them a diamond-studded rope ladder to do it with, and they
live to annoy.
As
usual, you are trying to be nice to everyone. You speak to Party A as
you would to anyone else—intent on a happy and harmonious
relationship. But Party A doesn’t know how to handle this. The rip
in the fabric of this person’s reality tells him or her that it’s
an either-me-or-you, dog-eat-dog,
take-advantage-before-being-taken-advantage-of world where being
aggressively defensive is of paramount importance. These attitudes
usually result in behavior that is nastier than a pickled egg fart
collection in an airtight room. Day after day you try to be nice to
this person in the hope that your goodness will prove contagious.
Mr./Ms. A stays deaf to your most cordial approaches and continues to
dump bucket loads of irritating drama into your life.
Sooner
or later it happens. You lose it. After what seems like eons of
dealing with this situation in a civilized manner, you just can’t
take it anymore. You give Party A a rebate on the ration of shit that
he or she has been shoveling in your direction for so long. After a
good ten minutes of yelling at each other, you stomp away with your
blood pressure raised and your day ruined. You’re now as stressed
out, aggravated, and miserable as A has always been. You’re soured
and angry.
220Defeating
the Bait-and-Switch
This
is you now! The attack on your peace of mind is no longer singularly
directed from an external, defensible source. It now has an internal
base that’s a lot more dangerous to you. The nastiness of A,
formerly a minor influence outside of your psyche, has now eaten away
slowly but steadily at your patience and compassion until it has
succeeded in boring a hole right through your previously harmonious
state of mind. Your structural integrity has collapsed and is now
being eaten by your newly acquired chemical imbalance, which is a
direct result of your newly acquired psychological imbalance. Your
stomach may hurt, your head may ache, and your happiness is in pain.
As
this happens to folks like us, Party A people will be laughing their
asses off! They may have had a conscious plan to do you in, but more
likely they’re so out of touch with themselves that they don’t
even know what they did. They’re happy anyway.
A
subconscious mind can be a dangerous thing. That’s why so many of
Earth’s most famous wise folk have spent so much of their time
moving their subconscious depths to the conscious surface.
So
now A is happy and B is ragged out. Anyone walking into a room where
both A and B are present would be fooled. It would appear that Party
A was a B and that Party B was an A—and in fact, until B regains
composure and simple sanity, that indeed has become the truth of the
situation! Every time A comes into the room, B gets nervous,
aggravated, and apprehensive. Party A’s job of making B a lesser
human is completed. B has now effectively taken over the job that A
was doing. B is now busting his or her own chops and getting on his
or her own nerves. Party A doesn’t even have to be around! B will
still be nervously concerned with what A might do or say next.
Party
A, thoroughly satisfied with the success of this process, is now more
B-like in demeanor—relaxed and happy. Party B, on the other hand,
is now suffering a self-engendered attitude attack as well as the
real attacks on his or her peace of mind that Party A may still be
generating. In addition, B has to deal with the degree of
self-loathing and embarrassment caused by losing composure in public
and embracing an inferior mind set.
The
bait-and-switch is complete.
Maybe
the rest of the staff will outsmart Beryl. Maybe they will snap back
into happiness, realizing that what they want to be is more important
than what any negative external influence wants them to be.
The
only way to win this game is to not play.
For
more see http://www.fearlesspuppy.org
*ALL
AUTHOR PROFITS SPONSOR WISDOM PROFESSIONALS AND THEIR EFFORTS *
“Once you accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something,
wearing stripes with plaid is easy.” Albert Einstein
Reincarnation
Through Common Sense
is
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Einstein’s words. Westerners have written many books about living
in Asian temples. None are like this true story.
The
rural Buddhist Monks and Nuns of a forest temple in Asia adopt a very
troubled soul from Brooklyn, New York. He can’t speak the language.
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too.
Magic
is redefined as objective reality and common sense. Spirit is
presented as a functional friend, without the fairy dust. Moods run
from adventurous psychosis through enlightened bliss as writing
styles run through ancient prose to the most erudite modern internal
rhyme. The main character’s life runs through death into
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This
down to earth treatment gives a clear view in simple terms of truths
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Reincarnation
Through Common Sense
from
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http://fearlesspuppy.org/m_reincarnation.htm
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Fearless
Puppy on American Road
This
amazing true story reads like a fantasy. Fearless
Puppy
is a transfictional self-help book. It is both comedic and dramatic—a
butt kicking, page-turning adventure story that makes deep spiritual
impressions.
Within
this book you will meet several saintly Tibetan Lamas. You will also
meet a man who is his own uncle, specialists in smoke, mirrors, and
invisibility, spirited sex, oxygen orgasms, heavenly Hell’s Angels,
phony preachers, domestic violence/domestic solutions, racist killers
in America, Canadian race wars, Native American wise men, a bit of
Christian ethics and Jewish ritual, angelic witches, benevolent
heroin addicts, magical birds, an all-lesbian band playing a rock
concert for the deaf, the musician raised by multi-ethnic
golden-hearted prostitutes, martial artists battling neo-Nazis, the
modern-day Robin Hood, and many other strangely wonderful people.
Buckle
your seatbelt tightly, take a deep breath, and enjoy the ride.
Fearless Puppy runs on rocket fuel!
*Please
forward this
through your contact and friend lists, and to anyone you think might
be interested. Help us raise funds through book sales to sponsor
Wisdom Professionals. Your effort is important! Thank you.
$21
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________________________
Doug
“Ten” Rose may be the biggest smartass as well as the wisest and
most entertaining survivor of the hitchhiking adventurers that used
to cover America’s highways. He is the author of Fearless Puppy on
American Road and Reincarnation Through Common Sense, has survived
heroin addiction and death, and is a graduate of over a hundred
thousand miles of travel without ever driving a car, owning a phone,
or having a bank account. Ten Rose and his work are a vibrant part of
the present and future as well as an essential remnant of a vanishing
breed.
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